Humility

Humility is one of the great doorways to spiritual freedom. It is not weakness. It is not thinking less of yourself, putting yourself down, or allowing others to walk over you. True humility is the quiet understanding that you are not separate from the Divine, and neither is anyone else. When that realization begins to take root, the need to prove that we are special, important, right, powerful, or more spiritual than someone else begins to fall away.

The ego wants to be somebody. It wants recognition. It wants to be noticed, praised, respected, admired and remembered. It compares itself with others and quietly keeps score. Am I smarter? Am I more successful? Am I more spiritual? Have I accomplished more? Do people recognize my importance? Even in spiritual life, the ego can disguise itself beautifully. We can become proud of how much we meditate, how many books we have read, how many teachers we have studied, how many retreats we have attended, or how enlightened we believe we have become. The spiritual ego can be more difficult to see than the ordinary ego because it wears the clothing of wisdom.

The Eastern traditions have understood this for thousands of years. The small self—the personality we defend and constantly try to improve—is not the whole of who we are. Beneath the names, titles, accomplishments, failures, possessions and stories we have collected is something much deeper. There is the Divine Presence within us, the same Presence that lives within every other human being. Call it God, the Atman, Buddha-nature, the Inner Light, Pure Consciousness, or simply Love. The name does not matter. What matters is the realization that the Divine is not divided.

If the same Divine Presence lives within all, then no one is more important than another. No one is less important. No one is more spiritual, and no one is less spiritual. We may be at different places in our lives, have different gifts, different responsibilities and different levels of understanding, but beneath all of that we are One.

This is where humility becomes powerful.

When I no longer have to be better than you, I am free to love you. When I no longer have to win every argument, I am free to listen. When I no longer need to be recognized for everything I do, I can simply serve. When I stop needing the world to confirm my importance, I begin to discover a deeper kind of peace.

There is an enormous amount of energy wasted in defending the ego. We defend our opinions, our reputation, our possessions, our status and our version of what happened. We become offended when someone does not appreciate us. We become angry when we are overlooked. We feel diminished when someone else receives attention. We want credit for our good deeds. We want people to know how much we have sacrificed.

But what happens when we simply let some of that go?

Something opens.

There is a freedom in not having to be somebody all the time.

The humble person does not have to announce his humility. In fact, the moment we begin thinking, "I am a very humble person," the ego has quietly returned through the back door. Humility is not a title we give ourselves. It is something others may experience through the way we live.

It is seen in how we treat the waiter, the stranger, the person who cannot do anything for us, the person who disagrees with us, and the person who may never know our name. It is seen when we can admit that we were wrong. It is seen when we can say, "I don't know." It is seen when we listen without immediately preparing our response. It is seen when we give without needing recognition.

Real humility is a willingness to become transparent enough that Divine Love can move through us without constantly being interrupted by the demands of the ego.

This does not mean abandoning individuality. We are each unique expressions of the One. We have different personalities, talents, histories and paths. But uniqueness does not mean superiority. A rose does not have to become a mountain to have value. A mountain does not have to become the ocean. Everything has its place within the Divine Whole.

The great spiritual mistake is believing that our particular expression of life makes us separate from the rest of life.

The ego says, "I am this person, and you are that person." Oneness says, "We are different expressions of the same Divine Reality."

When we begin living from that awareness, service becomes natural. We no longer serve because we want spiritual points, praise or recognition. We serve because there is no real separation between the giver and the receiver. When I serve another, I am serving the Divine within another expression of the One.

This is why humility and service are so closely connected. The smaller the ego becomes, the more room there is for love.

And love does not always look dramatic. Sometimes humility is simply letting someone else speak. Sometimes it is apologizing. Sometimes it is helping without being asked. Sometimes it is allowing another person to have the last word. Sometimes it is quietly doing something good and walking away without telling anyone.

The world today has become increasingly centered around the self. Look at me. Listen to me. Follow me. Agree with me. Notice me. We are surrounded by messages telling us to build our personal brand, promote ourselves, protect our image and make sure everyone knows what we have accomplished. There is nothing inherently wrong with success or recognition, but when the cultivation of the self becomes the center of our existence, we can lose touch with the deeper Self.

The spiritual path asks a different question.

Not, "How important can I become?"

But, "How much Love can I allow to move through me?"

That is a very different way of living.

Humility is also the willingness to remain a student. No matter how many years we have lived, how many spiritual books we have read, how many experiences we have had, there is always more to learn. Life itself becomes our teacher. The person who irritates us may teach us patience. The person who disagrees with us may teach us to listen. Our failures may teach us more than our successes. Our suffering may open a door that comfort never could.

The humble heart does not have to understand everything immediately. It can say, "There may be something here for me to learn."

That simple attitude can transform a life.

Humility also protects us from the spiritual trap of believing that enlightenment makes us special. The closer we come to genuine realization, the less important the idea of being spiritually special becomes. The enlightened heart does not need a pedestal. It does not need followers. It does not need to stand above anyone.

It bows.

It recognizes the Divine everywhere.

It recognizes that the same Light shining through the saint is shining through the stranger, the sinner, the child, the elderly person, the wealthy person, the poor person, the person we admire and the person we cannot understand.

This does not mean that we excuse harmful behavior or abandon discernment. Humility does not require us to tolerate abuse, dishonesty or injustice. We can establish boundaries and still remain humble. We can disagree and still honor the Divine in another person. We can walk away from someone and still refuse to hate them.

Humility is not weakness. It is strength without the need to dominate.

It is power without the need to control.

It is wisdom without the need to impress.

And perhaps most importantly, it is love without the need to possess.

There is a tremendous power released when we stop spending our lives trying to protect the little kingdom of the ego. We become less defensive. Less reactive. Less concerned with being right. Less concerned with what others think. We become more available to life.

We begin to listen differently.

We begin to see differently.

We begin to serve differently.

And eventually we may discover that what we were trying so hard to become was never necessary in the first place.

Humility is the surrender of our imagined separateness. It is the movement from "me" toward "we," and ultimately beyond even "we" into the realization of One.

There is only One Life moving through all of us.

When that becomes more than an idea and begins to become our experience, the ego loses its throne. We no longer need to stand above anyone because there is nowhere to stand outside of the One. We no longer need to prove our spiritual worth because the Divine within us was never lacking in worth.

Then humility becomes more than a virtue.

It becomes a way of seeing.

A way of living.

A way of loving.

And perhaps the deepest humility of all is to recognize that the Love we thought we were searching for was never separate from us. It was within us, within everyone, within all of creation, waiting for the small voice of the ego to become quiet enough for us to hear it.

When we move beyond the smallness of "me," we do not disappear.

We become available to something greater.

And in that surrender, we discover the power of Oneness.